Sigh..): idk why i have a bad feeling that i am going to screw up MYE is badly. Hmms one of the reasons is probably because i havent prepared it well and its not like last year. Its tiring to get stressful i will always get fustrated for no reason. Damn there it goes, affecting my everything): I want to get out church for at least like 1 year? I feel so tired in there. I think i am forcing myself to do everything then having the heart to serve. For example like BMI, i always feel tired and i still push myself to serve then in the end i fall sick. Church became like i must go there and waste my weekends nowadays. Sigh people have changed,times have changed. Worse is people is not even from ur zone and transfers into ur cg and discipleship you for the stupidest reason ever. Only people from ur own zone and own cg knows how to love you. I dont know why sometimes when i just look back at i things i have done i just cant help but tear. I think it would be a joke, after almost 1 year in church, i still cannot feel the presence of God in the main service. What is it that i want to achieve in life, who i want to be,how am i going to do it. This questions might seems normal and they are questions you find them in ur goal setting target sheet. But actually they are important these questions gives you a clear mindset on how are you going to run,live and love your life. People who you meet everyday may not be the person who is a true friend to you. But when you fall even at a slightest cut, people who helps you up are the people who are true,loyal and friends you can count on.Like this: RT @icyyavalanche_: 'Have u ever sat in a group of friends, thinking that ur the least impt? Like it won't make a diff even if u weren't thr' This re-tweet actually made me think. People who outcast you are people who doesnt want you, simply like ask you to go away. Sometimes your presence is not even important at all and the best is for you not to be there. People can have many friends on facebook,many followers on twitter,instagram,tumblr and all the social media websites but have you ever wondered that when they need help they have no friends? They do this cuz the feel insecure in the inside, gaining so many followers makes them feel better. Somehow which i dont know how to relate to. I am putting my dreams in church away for 2 months time. I am going to focus what i want in life. Yes this might be emotional for 2 months or maybe even 1 year but once you get over with this, you will succeed in life.